It’s been over a year since our award winning (don’t research this claim) blog post, Disney’s Dumbest Names. Despite the awards, praise, and excitement that post generated (again, don’t research) we’ve held off on the sequel… Until now! It’s easy to pick on the worst names like that bully in third grade did but it’s time to give credit where credit’s due. Many attraction have excellent names and this post will (celeb)rate the best of them.

As a refresher, here is the criteria with which I will rate the names. Each category is worth 10 points.

• Length – Names should be fairly short.  Someone says, “Hey, where you going?”  No one wants to respond with more than 4 words.  4 words is fine. 5 words is bad. 6 words is right out.  The shorter the name the better.
• Literal name – I’m a huge proponent of literal names.  Hall of Presidents is really nice because it’s literally a hall of presidents (sure, not the actual presidents but that’s just semantics). It helps to be somewhat creative while being literal. For instance, naming a roller coaster “roller coaster” is bad even though it is literal.
• Wordplay – Anytime you can fit a quick pun into the name then it’s usually nice.  Possibly, the best use of wordplay in a title is a loose pun that isn’t exactly a joke but instead bordering on a joke and still literal.  Wordplay can walk a fine line because it can violate the first 2 (and the last) categories.  Proceed with caution here.
• Capitalization and punctuation – This can ruin titles.  Don’t do something unnecessary, it looks stupid. This should be an easy 10 points for good names.
• Does this sound stupid or does it sound awesome – Self explanatory.  More points for being more awesome. Depending on personal preference, this category should be worth more points but we’ll stick to the formula that got us here.

The higher the score, the better the name. There are a few caveats. We’re judging these attractions by their full, Disney-given name. As much as I love the name Expedition Everest it won’t be making it because the full title, according to the Disney World website, is Expedition Everest – Legend of the Forbidden Mountain (too long).

Unlike the dumb names post, I’m only going to consider attractions in this one. There are plenty of good show names so we’ll stay away from that category. There are so many choices when it comes to attractions, I chose my favorite ten, so if I leave off your favorite name then let me know in the comments and I will try to rate it later on. Honorable mention to DisneySea’s Fortress Explorations and California Adventure’s Grizzly River Run that just miss this list. Let’s get to it!

Space Mountain (Castle Parks around the world)
A classic name that might not rate all that favorably.

• Length – Two words is all you need. Nothing extra that people will forget to say – 10 points
• Literal name – Unfortunately, Disney’s iconic mountain range works against Space Mountain here. The first name thrown around was Space Voyage  which is far more literal but not as cool. Space Mountain is set in space but doesn’t follow the traditional mountain definition – 4 points
• Wordplay – Not much going on here. It’s a little quirky and fits in with the other Disney mountains. That seems worthy of a few points in this category – 3 points
• Capitalization and Punctuation – Perfect – 10 points
• Does this sound stupid or does this sound awesome? – This sounds awesome and no one ever gets tired of saying Space Mountain. It’s iconic – 10 points
• Overall Score – 37/50 points

Aquatopia (Tokyo DisneySea)
Is it too hard to say? Let’s find out!

• Length – One, succinct, made up word – 10 points
• Literal name – Can a made up word be literal? I think so. Unfortunately, this made up word doesn’t fully describe the attraction. Yes, aqua is water so we’re good there. The ‘topia’ part of this made up word is where we run into issues. There’s an argument to be made that Disney doesn’t use their ‘topias’ correctly. Having said that, the definition of “a place with specified characteristics” is pretty vague. Unfortunately, it still doesn’t really fit in with this certain attraction. So, somewhat literal is the answer here – 5 points
• Wordplay – This is some solid work. First, the attraction is playing off the classic Disneyland Autopia. Then we have the combining of two words into one which is generally an enjoyable thing to do. A solid score here – 8 points
• Capitalization and Punctuation – Well done – 10 points
• Does this sound stupid or does this sound awesome? – We run into one issue with this name, it’s somewhat hard to say. Not as hard as the original Autopia but still a somewhat difficult word. It also has more of a curious vibe than an awesome vibe. Still, not a bad score – 5 points
• Overall Score – 38/50 points

Spaceship Earth (Epcot)
No, it’s not called a giant golf ball.

• Length – Very good – 10 points
• Literal name – Not really. While the title is the most pivotal word in the current attraction’s script (possibly a little too on the nose) it doesn’t describe the ride in any way. The facade is a globe and looks a little like something from space. I’m just trying to make banana bread out of some old bananas – 3 points
• Wordplay – A loose description of the outside of the building earns a few points here. After that, we don’t have much working here – 3 points
• Capitalization and Punctuation – Well done – 10 points
• Does this sound stupid or does this sound awesome? – Yes, this sounds awesome. Spaceship Earth sounds epic and worthy of being the center of a place called Epcot – 10 points
• Overall Score – 36/50 points

Tower of Terror (DisneySea)
A few liberties are taken with this one but it could be the new leader in the clubhouse.

• Length – Those in the know will notice that I put DisneySea as this attraction’s origin. That’s because Tower of Terror in Hollywood Studios is officially known as Twilight Zone Tower of Terror. That’s too long. Tower of Terror is okay but a few points off for being more than two words and four syllables – 8 points
• Literal name – This one definitely fits the bill. I’m terrified of the attraction and it is a tower. They don’t get to specific describing the ride, opting for ‘Tower of Terror’ over ‘Drop to Your Death’. Good move – 10 points
• Wordplay – Terror is a good choice of word and there’s a nice alliteration here. This category is kind of becoming a catch all for any words I like. An average score – 5 points
• Capitalization and Punctuation – Nailed it – 10 points
• Does this sound stupid or does this sound awesome? – It sounds awesome and perfectly describes the ride without being descriptive – 10 points
• Overall Score – 43/50 points

Jungle Cruise (Castle Parks)
Bordering on boring but it’s a name that’s stood the test of time.

• Length – Two words, three syllables. Well done – 10 points
• Literal name – It makes a lot of sense – you’re on a cruise through the jungle. Not extremely specific about the ride but still telling guests what they should expect – 10 points
• Wordplay – There isn’t much here aside from not warning guests that they’re getting on a comedy cruise, which is in the spirit of the attraction. Reaching for a few points – 3 points
• Capitalization and Punctuation – No complaints – 10 points
• Does this sound stupid or does this sound awesome? – It’s probably the lames sounding attraction I’ve written about so far. It might be too literal to sound awesome. There isn’t much left to the imagination. It doesn’t sound stupid though – 5 points
• Overall Score – 38/50 points

Mad Tea Party (Castle Parks)
A surprisingly, excellent name.

• Length – Three words but they’re short words, sticking with four syllables. That’s key for 10 points
• Literal name – If you just see the name then you likely won’t know exactly what this is. But, the attraction is certainly mad seeing how the plot is just spinning around. You also sit in tea cups with a bunch of other people. All of the words have a specific purpose relating to the literal description of the attraction’s plot. A solid score here – 7 points
• Wordplay – I think this works here with a double meaning. As we covered, the title is literal. When an attraction’s title refers to the movie it’s named after and the plot of the attraction all while being a common term then it’s done a good job – 10 points
• Capitalization and Punctuation – No issues – 10 points
• Does this sound stupid or does this sound awesome? – It doesn’t sound extremely awesome and there’s one area that we haven’t talked about yet – people call Mad Tea Party the Teacups. If an attraction has an awesome name then it’s usually called by that name. Is it possible for an attraction to have an awesome name while still having a more popular nickname. I’m not sure, so this gets a score right down the middle – 5 points
• Overall Score – 42/50 points

Haunted Mansion (Castle Parks)
One category really ruined this one.

• Length – Two words, four syllables just like my first two names so we’re good here – 10 points
• Literal name – Yeah, this describes the attraction perfectly – 10 points
• Wordplay – This whole post I’ve been liberal with this category. I can’t find anything here though – 0 points
• Capitalization and Punctuation – Perfect – 10 points
• Does this sound stupid or does this sound awesome? – It sounds awesome and is iconic – 10 points
• Overall Score – 40/50 points

Roger Rabbit’s Car Toon Spin (Tokyo Disneyland & Disneyland)
Our longest title of the post turns out okay.

• Length – Five words is bad. That’s written in the criteria. Roger Rabbit’s Car Toon Spin is a mouthful but sits at only seven syllables thankfully. And I always say the whole title instead of shortening it. Still, rules are rules – 4 points
• Literal name – It’s not Haunted Mansion but they did well here. Roger Rabbit, the title character, is named. That’s followed by exactly what you’ll do on the ride. It may be too specific but that was for a purpose (the next category) – 9 points
• Wordplay – Our first real pun and it’s done well. Separating the Car and Toon in the title was a great move and earns this a full ten points. A great pun that fits in with the nature of the attraction – 10 points
• Capitalization and Punctuation – There’s nothing wrong here. They didn’t sacrifice this category even with a pun. Worthy of a bonus point – 11 points
• Does this sound stupid or does this sound awesome? – It’s a bit long too sound extremely awesome. This doesn’t sound stupid though and like I said, I enjoy saying the whole title – 6 points
• Overall Score – 40/50 points

Mr. Toad’s Wild Ride (Disneyland)
A fairly literal name that shows well.

• Length – A little long but only five syllables. Not a top score but passable – 6 points
• Literal name – This pretty much sums up the ride. It doesn’t give away that the attraction drags you to hell but it does warn you that this will be a wild ride along with Mr. Toad. – 10 points
• Wordplay – The wild ride works since you’re riding in a car with Mr. Toad. Not a pun or anything but a decent showing – 5 points
• Capitalization and Punctuation – Well done here – 10 points
• Does this sound stupid or does this sound awesome? – It’s a really good title that perfectly describes the ride. It’s not quite mysterious enough for a perfect score but it’s nearly there – 9 points
• Overall Score – 40/50 points

Splash Mountain (Castle Parks)
The attraction title was the best thing to come out of the movie Splash.

• Length – The sweet spot of two words, three syllables – 10 points
• Literal name – As you’re walking up to the attraction it’s clear that it’s a mountain. Once you get closer you can see that there are massive amounts of water spraying into the sky that will splash guests. It’s extremely literal without giving away what’s going on inside the attraction. It loses one point for sharing nothing about the plot but no more because I like the mystery – 9 points
• Wordplay – A perfect case of literal crossing over into wordplay. If we’re taking the title literally then the mountain itself is called Splash Mountain. That the attraction splashes you gives it a sort of double meaning. Splash Mountain also fits into the Disney mountain range. Then there’s the history of the attraction being named after the 1984 film Splash that adds some weird history to the attraction. It’s not perfect but there’s plenty here to give it a strong score – 7 points
• Capitalization and Punctuation – These attraction titles all passed with flying colors – 10 points
• Does this sound stupid or does this sound awesome? – It sounds awesome – 10 points
• Overall Score – 46/50 points

Somewhat predictably, the winner is Splash Mountain. Tower of Terror and Mad Tea Party come in a respectable second and third place. Really all the attractions in this post are winners when it comes to names.

What Disney attraction/entertainment/restaurant names do you dislike?  Let us know in the comments!  Thank you for reading Wandering in Disney.  If you enjoy our content please subscribe to the blog (via WordPress or email) and like our social media pages.  You can find all of those things on the right side of this page.  Have a great day!