Five years have passed since I wrote about my least favorite names that Disney has given attractions. In the five years since, I wrote about my favorite attraction names, there was a pandemic and Marvel released roughly 217 movies and TV shows. A lot has changed including the Disney attractions roster. April 6th, 2023 seems like the best time to fire up the ol’ name ratings formula and see if there’s any new contenders for the worst names at a Disney Park!
When it comes to something as scientific as deciding if a theme park attraction has a good name or a bad name, there has to be a method to the madness. I don’t want to get over my skis, but this tried and true formula has worked for me in the past and I’m going to stick to it. Here’s what I will be judging the names on:
- Length – Names should be fairly short. Someone says, “Hey, what are you going to ride?” and no one wants to respond with more than 3 words. 4 words is fine. 5 words is bad. 6 words is right out. Unlike hair in the south, bigger names do not get you closer to God.
- Literal name – I’m a huge proponent of literal names. Hall of Presidents is really nice because it’s literally a hall of presidents.
- Wordplay – Anytime you can fit a quick pun into the name then it’s probably nice. Possibly the best use of wordplay in a title is a loose pun that isn’t exactly a joke but instead bordering on a joke and still literal. Wordplay can walk a fine line because it can violate the first 2 (and the last) categories. Proceed with caution here.
- Capitalization and punctuation – This can ruin titles. Don’t do something extra, it looks stupid. Especially when I have to type it in all of these blog posts!
- Does this sound stupid or does it sound awesome – Self explanatory. More points for being more awesome.
All categories are out of 10, 10 being the best score. Another way of putting this is that the lower the score the worse name it is. The candidates will simply be a random assortment of attractions that I don’t like the name of. If you haven’t figured it out, this is a big joke. Let’s get to it!
Remy’s Ratatouille Adventure
This bothers me more than it should.
- Length – As I said, 3 words is just fine. 10 points
- Literal Name – This category and the next is where I have a hard time with the somewhat recent attraction. For all intents and purposes, Ratatouille should not be included in this name. It’s only there so the ride is Google-able. In some ways, this is literal because we’re included in Remy’s adventure. 5 points
- Wordplay – I don’t think there’s much to go on here, outside of the confusing middle word that we already covered. There’s very little to do with actual ratatouille in the ride though so… 2 points
- Capitalization and punctuation – No problems! 10 points
- Does this sound stupid or does it sound awesome? – It’s somewhere in the middle. The alliteration isn’t bad. I think I’d look more favorably on this if it wasn’t for the next topic so we’ll give it the benefit of the doubt. 5 points
- Overall Score – 32/50 points
Tiana’s Bayou Adventure
A battle of the adventures! These two names aren’t bad, they’re just bland.
- Length – Great length! 10 points
- Literal Name – Yeah, they certainly got the literal down almost to the point where it’s a deterrent. Could we have a more interesting word than adventure? I’ll knock it 2 points for that. 8 points
- Wordplay – When you go this literal, there is no room at all for wordplay. 0 points
- Capitalization and punctuation – All good! 10 points
- Does this sound stupid or does it sound awesome? – It does not sound awesome. Fortunately, it doesn’t sound stupid. I’m going below average because of the blandness. 3 points
- Overall Score – 31/50 points
I bet you can spot the problem.
- Length – Great stuff! 10 points
- Literal Name – It is a park, so points there. Riffing on Centennial Park does add some confusion. Centennial generally means that we’re celebrating the 100th anniversary of something, which the Disney company is. The tree in this little park is to commemorate Walt dreaming up the company. The problem? Mickey didn’t move to Toontown until the 30’s, he is not quite 100 years old. Are we to believe that the park was named before all of its inhabitants moved in? Is this the most meaningless paragraph I’ve ever written in my life? 8 points
- Wordplay – We’ll get more into the problem with the wordplay in the next category. There certainly is some going on here and while I don’t like it, I can’t knock it too much. 7 points
- Capitalization and punctuation – Come on. We all would have gotten this pun without capitalizing the toon. Roger Rabbit’s Car Toon Spin is a great name and there’s nothing capitalized. We were so close to adding a great name! 0 points
- Does this sound stupid or does it sound awesome? – If you say it without screaming the TOON part, then it sounds good. If you don’t, then you will scare everyone around you but will say it as it’s written. I’ll go down the middle for those two variables. 5 points
- Overall Score – 30/50 points
World of Color – ONE
These are honestly decent names so far.
- Length – A little long but they were kind of in a bind here. 4 words isn’t bad. 9 points
- Literal Name – The original World of Color is wonderfully named, literal without sounding bland or dumb. ONE adds a tiny bit of the theme to the title but doesn’t really do much. 7 points largely thanks to the original name.
- Wordplay – World of Color is innocuous enough to leave some room for guessing, while still describing the show. A few points for that. ONE adds nothing. 3 points
- Capitalization and punctuation – WHY IS ONE CAPITALIZED? Of all of Disney’s weird punctuation choices, this one makes the least amount of sense to me. Is there some SEO capitalization trick that I’m unaware of? Maybe that’s the key for this website to go viral. 0 points
- Does this sound stupid or does it sound awesome? – It’s a little bit dumb. I get it within the show’s theme and everything but there are much better options. 3 points
- Overall Score – 22/50 points
Big Grizzly Mountain Runaway Mine Cars
It’s the end that really throws this one off.
- Length – This is too long. Are things lost in translation for this Hong Kong Disneyland attraction? Possibly but this is a mouth full. 2 points
- Literal Name – What happened here was a classic sacrifice of brevity in exchange of telling people exactly what this is. I know to expect to ride on runaway mine cars that are on Big Grizzly Mountain here. 10 points
- Wordplay – I’m not seeing anything here but I do love bears so 2 points for the grizzly mention.
- Capitalization and punctuation – Great job! 10 points
- Does this sound stupid or does it sound awesome? – It’s a bit jumbled and I wouldn’t want to say it with peanut butter in my mouth. I wouldn’t want to say much with peanut butter in my mouth though. 4 points
- Overall Score – 30/50 points
Vacation Fun – An Original Animated Short with Mickey & Minnie
The return of the double name!
- Length – Vacation Fun is great! Vacation Fun – An Animated Short is also fine. Ten words is too many. 0 points
- Literal Name – They took the guessing out of this one. 10 points
- Wordplay – Nothing to see here. Mickey Mouse short films don’t typically have the most exciting names but they’re more interesting than this. Vacations are nice, so 1 point.
- Capitalization and punctuation – For being so long, they did this one right! 10 points
- Does this sound stupid or does it sound awesome? – This is one of those times where no one is going to say the full title while describing the attraction. Someone might say we’re going to Vacation Fun. The other person will ask, “What is that?” before getting the response, “It’s an original animated short film with Mickey & Minnie.” I understand the point of the name now. 6 points
- Overall Score – 27/50 points
WEB SLINGERS: A Spider-Man Adventure
Adventure synonyms include but are not limited to escapade, experience and quest.
- Length – Just a bit too long. And for what purpose? 5 points
- Literal Name – I don’t like this name but I will say that they thread the needle between literal and wordplay quite well and that’s hard to do. This doesn’t tell us exactly what the ride is but guests do sling webs with Spider-Man. 6 points
- Wordplay – WEB is an acronym for Worldwide Engineering Brigade, a part of the ride’s backstory. That’s a terrible name for a group but I guess it counts as wordplay? I’m knocking off a few points for the constant use of adventure. 3 points
- Capitalization and punctuation – Back to the capitalization. Since WEB is an acronym I guess it makes sense to capitalize it but why SLINGERS? Along with that, we complete the trifecta of unneeded capitalization, a colon and a dash. I’ll give 1 sympathy point because there’s some logic to it.
- Does this sound stupid or does it sound awesome? – Web Slingers does sound cool. A Spider-Man Adventure is very bland. We’ll go right down the middle on this one. 5 points
- Overall Score – 20/50 points
Not as many bad names as last time around! Thanks for joining me on this grand
What are your least favorite Disney attraction names? Let us know, along with any questions you might have, in the comments below. Planning a Disney trip? Check out our Travel Guides to help get you there! If you enjoy what you’re reading here on Wandering in Disney please subscribe to the blog via email or WordPress and like our social media pages. You can find all of those things on the right side of this page. Thank you very much for reading, we appreciate it!
Categories: Weird Stuff