Wandering in Disney prides itself on being a helpful place to go when you’re planning a Disney trip or somewhere that has thoughtful theme park analysis and today’s post is a prime example of that. Welllll… Scratch that! A little over two years ago, I wrote a post that broke the internet (at least I assume that because no one read it) relating characters from The Office to Disney attractions. Now I’m taking a cue from movie studios and bringing back a sequel/remake that absolutely no one asked for. I can not harp this enough, absolutely NO ONE wanted this.
Now, I’m moving from Pennsylvania to our favorite small town in Indiana. I’ve certainly watched The Office more than Parks & Rec but consider the latter to be the better show. Matching each character to a Disney attraction in this case was slightly more difficult because that main group of characters are all incredibly likable. Lucky for you all, I persevered. For some reason, this blog post doesn’t exist yet on the internet (at least that I’ve found). Well, good news: Now it exists. Let’s get to it!
Leslie Knope as The American Adventure
We’ll start off with some relatively easy ones. Everybody’s favorite government gal loves nothing more than the history of a place she loves, exactly what The American Adventure provides. Leslie is hard-working, always looking for a solution, and over-the-top. The Epcot attraction can claim all of those traits too. They’re both constantly pushing forward, Leslie in her personality and the attraction in it’s still impressive show system. I can see Leslie crying through The American Adventure then coming out and immediately demanding more women representation in the attraction, something that the heart of this attraction probably agrees with.
Ron Swanson as Tom Sawyer Island
I stumbled around for a while trying to figure out Ron. Great Moments with Mr. Lincoln seemed like a fit but Ron doesn’t really like being talked to. A breakfast buffet is an obvious choice but kind of breaks the rules of this post. Then, the answer became clear! Ron Swanson wants to be away from the masses of people. He’s independent, loves the outdoors and makes his own adventures. That’s what Tom Sawyer Island is, all while paying homage to a great American author, something that Ron would appreciate.
Tom Haverford as Na’vi River Journey
A lot of flash! In fact, Tom and River Journey care so much about being cool and how they look that it becomes their personality. Is it a fault? Yeah, maybe but it’s also why both are popular. We end up not really knowing what either of them are thinking but, boy, do they sure look good in the midst of that confusion.
Donna Meagle as Bibbidi Bobbidi Boutique
Treat yo’ self.
April Ludgate as Mr. Toad’s Wild Ride
This one is simple. April is open to being dragged to Hell, and would rather take the form of a demon than a human. Mr. Toad’s Wild Ride gives her/us exactly that. Just let her hop off the ride vehicle when it gets to the Hell scene and let her live there, haunting other riders for eternity.
Andy Dwyer as Rock n’ Roller Coaster
After briefly contemplating Tower of Terror due to both Andy and that attraction’s propensity for falling, I opted for ToT’s neighbor instead. Both Andy and Rock n’ Roller Coaster are high energy and ready to give you everything they’ve got. Stamina is not their forte though and both leave you wondering if they are stupid. Still, it’s hard not to love them for their quirks and zaniness. I’d be remiss if I didn’t mention the obvious music connection. Honestly, I’d prefer Rock n’ Roller Coaster if it featured Pawnee’s favorite rock band instead of Aerosmith. Riding that crazy coaster with ‘Sex Hair’, ‘5,000 Candles in the Wind’, and ‘The Pit’ blaring would be a dream come true. Ladies and gentlemen, it’s been decided! Rock n’ Roller Coaster Featuring Mouse Rat, coming in 2020!
Ann Perkins as Mark Twain Riverboat
Ann Perkins is not funny, kind of boring, kind and the best friend someone could ask for, making everyone around her better. The Mark Twain Riverboat could be seen as boring but it’s always there and certainly gives life to the Rivers of America. But my favorite connection, and please go with me here, is the Leslie connection. The American Adventure features Mark Twain as one of the main characters while this boat features his name. Best friends connected by something they’ve never talked about on the show. Why are you reading this???
Craig Middlebrooks as Mad Tea Party
Both are loud, kind of sweet, and absolutely chaotic. I rest my case.
Ben Wyatt as Millennium Falcon: Smuggler’s Run
I don’t know. I went a little more literal here in that Ben would absolutely love going inside the Millennium Falcon. He freaks out about Star Wars and Game of Thrones and I’m imagining something similar to when he was gifted the Iron Throne.
Chris Traeger as Expedition Everest
Another literal one, as Chris likes to conquer things. He would take great pride in summiting a mountain then the ride down would be literally the greatest thing ever.
Li’l Sebastian as Mine Train Through Nature’s Wonderland
Everyone’s favorite little horse is the first character in either of these posts to be deceased. With that in mind, I took an extinct attraction. Nature’s Wonderland was a Disneyland attraction, taking guests on a train ride through ‘natural’ wonders while seeing a bunch of animals along the way. Outside of the obvious animal connection, both Li’l Sebastian and the attraction are loved and celebrated even in their death. Remnants of Nature’s Wonderland still exist in Disneyland just like a Li’l Sebastian hologram might just show up at a music festival.
Jean-Ralphio as Journey Into Imagination With Figment
Credit to Michaela with the assist on this one. Jean-Ralphio is obnoxious and over the top, living off his parent’s glory. The current iteration of Journey fits that description to a T. Not to mention that there’s a certain druggy allure to both of these things. God bless them both but I hope they both grow up to be better versions of themselves.
Jerry (Gerald, Garry, Larry, etc.) Gergich as Autopia
Gassy, despised and will outlive us all while being perfectly content.
I’ll stop this masterpiece before I win too many Pulitzer Prizes. Winning a few is inevitable but I don’t want to take away from other people too much. There are some notable side characters missing and if you can think of a match, or have quibbles with my choices, let me know in the comments!
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Categories: Weird Stuff