Are you tired of your home yet? Have all the TV shows started to sound exactly the same, regardless of if it’s The Office, Ozark, or Tiger King? How many days in a row have you worn those sweat pants? Are you ready to do something, literally anything, else? Let’s take a mental break from those endless hours of sitting on the couch and pretend that we’re trapped inside one of the happiest places on Earth instead.
Chances are, depending on your level of Disney fandom, getting locked inside of a Disney Park overnight has been a dream at some point. But quarantine is a different animal. To make this post more interesting, we can’t just give free roam of the entire park, instead it’s time to hunker down inside of an attraction. But which attraction would be best to spend (fill in the blank) amount of days in? Wandering in Disney is here to answer this all important question!
But first, rules. That’s what sets us apart from the animals. The animals are the ones outside right now though so who really wins? Anyway, here’s a few guidelines I’m following:
- I’ll stick to the American Parks – As much as I’d like to cozy up to the seemingly hundreds of Sinbad animatronics or have a one-sided conversation with Ms. Lava Monster in DisneySea, I’ll keep this simple and stay to Disneyland and Walt Disney World.
- No modes of transportation – I’m pretty convinced I could live on the castle park’s river boats or Sailing Ship Columbia for months at a time and be perfectly happy. That feels like cheating though so no big boats or trains are allowed.
- There has to be ride vehicles – Kind of the opposite of the last rule, but I’m trying to avoid picking walk-through attractions. Living on Tom Sawyer Island is easy. Swiss Family Treehouse is already a house, that’s a boring pick. Let’s stay away from boring.
- The attraction is sometimes running – Along with actually being inside of the attraction, let’s assume that the attraction is actually running from time to time. This comes with pros and cons, notably you can ride the attraction but the soundtrack will be on repeat constantly.
That seems like enough rules. So grab your food rations, case of water (or whatever else you want to drink) and let’s find what Disney attractions would be best to quarantine in. Yes, I’m abstaining from a toilet paper joke.
Kilimanjaro Safaris (Animal Kingdom) – An obvious choice, full of adventure and space. Disney’s largest attraction will provide plenty of spots to walk around and guests would have to hop some barriers to be in any real danger. There’s spots of shade and bathrooms in the building by the savanna. But make no mistake, the downside here is that it’s going to be hot. Other attractions will provide some air-conditioning while the Safaris provide none. Is that worth the trade of having daily conversations with giraffes and rhinos? I think so, at least for a couple of weeks. And if it all becomes too much for you then, just hop a barrier and give a lion, crocodile or hippo a nice lunch!
Haunted Mansion (Disneyland & Magic Kingdom) – We know that Haunted Mansion has no shortage of good scenes. So walking around all of those scenes as much as you could possibly want? Sounds good. There would also be no issue with sleeping because of how dark the attraction is and there has to be somewhere comfortable to rest your restless head. The downside? Well, mental stability is a concern. Constantly hearing about how this place you’re stuck inside of is looking for one more ghost to add certainly wouldn’t help the isolation aspect of this pandemic.
Star Wars: Rise of the Resistance (Disneyland & Hollywood Studios) – Okay, this one is on the list simply due to my curiosity. It is the most complicated ride Disney has ever created and having a couple days/weeks/months/years (Heaven help us) to walk the attraction and see how it all works sounds interesting to me. There’s a ton of walking space and a nice array of outdoor and indoor areas. Also, there’s a ton of stuff to climb on or lay on. The downside? This is a stronger choice than I initially thought because nothing jumps out to me. I guess once you’re inevitably mimicking the Kylo animatronic during the third week of being in there, he might malfunction and stab you?
Pirates of the Caribbean (Disneyland) – I’m not choosing the Magic Kingdom version. Disneyland’s Pirates has so many scenes to explore. There’s some sand to lay down and sleep in, cuddling up to a nice skeleton to keep you warm. Getting a close look at some of those animatronics would be a dream come true and I guess you can exercise by swimming? This has a similar downside to the Haunted Mansion. I also worry about the smell after a while. Pirates has an iconic smell that I absolutely love but after a few weeks it may result in a headache.
Matterhorn Bobsleds (Disneyland) – An obvious choice really. The mountain has layers to explore, whether it be on the actual track or further inside with the famed basketball hoop and structure. You could shower under one of the waterfalls and then take a ride to dry off. Really it sounds ideal. So what’s the drawback? Well, there’s next to no chance that I could resist trying to climb the Matterhorn at some point. While I’m at least a little bit athletic, a harness and rope were not packed in my essentials to survive. I have a bad feeling that climbing would not end in me surviving.
Radiator Springs Racers (Disney California Adventure) – This might be the strongest option. It’s a good ride. RSR has both inside and outside scenes, with ample space to exercise or get out of the sun. I’m really into this shower waterfall idea (see: Matterhorn). The soundtrack is pleasant enough and not overbearing. Truthfully, there’s not many downsides. Those cars do move pretty fast so there’s always the possibility of getting ran over. Not a ton of great places to sleep off the top of my head either but at least it’s dark inside.
Millennium Falcon: Smuggler’s Run (Disneyland & Hollywood Studios) – I tried to avoid adding both Galaxy’s Edge attractions to the list but they make too much sense. Rise of the Resistance has many virtues but it doesn’t have the feeling of (Chewie we’re) home like the Falcon does. There’s some games to play, a large queue to wander through and some backstage areas that would be interesting to see. Two drawbacks here, you know, other than being stuck inside the same place for months on end, is there is no outside space and this is the worst attraction on the list. Despite the fantastic queue, it isn’t as interesting as other choices.
Splash Mountain (Disneyland & Magic Kingdom) – We arrive on our final good quarantine option. Or is it good? Splash Mountain was the one I was most on the fence on. On the plus side, Splash has some fantastic scenes to wander through and is a great one to reride. You also don’t have to worry about bathing too much. But the catchy songs might turn start to blur the reality lines. All of those animatronics might start to become a little too real. Next thing you know you’ll be feeding Br’er Bear some S’mores on a romantic picnic. Then, it all ends with you trying to go down the final drop like a water slide. It could be worse but maybe let’s not quarantine here.
What Disney attractions would you like to quarantine in? Let us know in the comments below! Curious about planning a trip to a Disney Resort? Check out our planning guides to get you started! Thank you for reading Wandering in Disney. If you enjoy what you’re reading please subscribe to the blog via WordPress or email and like our social media pages. You can do both of those things on the right side of this page. Have a great day!