How have the writers not gotten to this point? Has anyone written about this? Sorry, I don’t read the site. Well, that is why I am here. There are a few rides that have a queue you wait in for a bit, then you think “it’s time to go on the ride.” You then are taken in another part of a queue where you might be briefed, assigned or threatened before the actual movement part. Now, I am sure there are at least six or seven posts that have to do with best queues and dozens on the best rides, but never the middle part. To be even more clear I am only rating the attractions where the middle part is an elevator taking you to the ride (Editor’s note: Yeah, I’m not sure that everything on this list is actually an elevator). Are you understanding yet or did I confuse you more? Anyways let’s begin. These are not ranked and are in alphabetical order. I will be rating them from 1 to 11 (11 being a ‘banger’.) Editor’s note: Banger, as the kids say, is a term for a really good, upbeat song. Just thought there should be some clarification here.
Astro Orbiter (Walt Disney World)
You will spend probably about 15 minutes in line, on a good day, for a very normal looking elevator, but don’t be fooled the elevator leads to a ride called Astro Orbiters. When you are done with the ride you will take the elevator that was located right next to the first one you took. And really you shouldn’t be fooled at all at this point, the elevator is taking you down right to where you began your adventure. While I am only reviewing the transportation to the attraction and not the attraction itself I will have to give these very standard lifts a fairly low score.
Avatar – Flight of Passage
For the lucky people that have ridden this ride, you are also unlucky that you sat through that awkward pre-show where you are over explained the plot and shown a picture of faux-Sigourney Weaver who made the contraption you’ll be entering in the next eight minutes or so. The lift takes you to one of the nine (?) (Editor’s note: There are three) floors that the ride system can hold. I have a conspiracy theory where the second room you enter, where you hear more back story and an apology about how uncomfy the ride setup will be, is also an elevator that moves you sideways. This is all me and really it’s just a silly little dream, but that is where I was, right? Where dreams come true.
The original “no-sorry-this-is-not-the-ride-yet” room. You enter a room that seems very compact as a creepy man tells you that there is no escape but your untimely death. There are also those classic paintings near the top of the ceiling that slowly reveal the rest of the frame where the characters who were seemingly living fancy, free lives are actually in grave danger. Honestly, this never gets old. I am not sure if this is even an elevator, but still I am going to rate it.
Now if you want to ride this attraction with your whole family then get ready to stand before you sit on the ride like how the normal lines go. However, if you find yourself going for a solo adventure, get ready to stand, then enter an elevator, walk a bit, stand in an elevator some more and then stand in a crowded corner right before you sit on the coaster. These lifts look like Astro Orbiters, but it is way less fun to stand to the side of an already crowded area.
Journey to the Center of the Earth
This is one of my favorite rides at DisneySea, but I am not reviewing the rides, I am reviewing the boxed in transporters taking you from the line to the actual ride, WHY DO I HAVE TO KEEP EXPLAINING IT TO YOU? ARE YOU EVEN LISTENING? Oh, uh, sorry. Anyways, after an excellent queue you are taken on an elevator said to take you all the way to the center of the Earth. This ride is slightly bumpy and has plenty of sound effects that are very immersive. I am not even sure if it goes anywhere. If I remember right it moves up instead of down, but who knows. It’s perfect.
Millennium Falcon: Smuggler’s Run
Who am I kidding? There is no lift here. Come on, Darrell! What is wrong with you?
Tower of Terror/Twilight Zone Tower of Terror/Guardians of the Galaxy – Mission BREAKOUT!
Now please, don’t be confused, I have already explained this to you. This is not about the lift on the ride system. It is about the enclosed room that lays out the plot. I am not sure if this is an elevator, but it seems to be moving subtly. Whether it be your favorite racoon, serialized TV show host or disappearing tiki this room is always a blast. Please someone comment or email if any of these count as elevators.
Peoplemover having the flat escalator is kind of nice. 7/11
Main Street Vehicles are transportation up to the castle from the beginning of, well Main Street. 3/11 (Editor’s note: I’m so sorry about this takeover week.)
The Epcot aquarium has an elevator in it. So you can go explore the second floor. So it counts? I don’t understand why I am doing honorable mentions. Bye guys.
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Categories: Weird Stuff