This week on Wandering in Disney, Darrell (of the Wandering in Disney Podcast and guest posting fame) is taking over. Well, mostly taking over. Along with some of our usual content, Darrell is going to have a post each day about one Disney Parks thing or another. I may be your fearless leader but I am scared about what’s to come. Fate comes for us all though so without further ado, here’s Darrell.

While I was at Walt Disney World, I had a load of people ask questions. Not many of them were directed towards me, but in this post I will attempt to help out these wondering guests. I could of just answered it there, but as you will see that might have been a bad idea. First question!

Q1: Do you really want to stand here and wait an hour (or however long) for this ride?

To be blunt, it does not sound like it. If you have to ask the question then you probably don’t want to spend your precious time waiting in line. I really don’t understand how people wait an hour-twenty for Slinky Dog Dash or over three for Avatar Flight of Passage. The latter is a terrific ride, and to get to ride it you might have to wait that long, but if you need to get on the ride and don’t want to waste park hours, rope dropping is your best bet. Back to those of you standing in a line with a shorter wait. You are in the park, you made it to vacation. Go do something you will enjoy. Walk around, most of the parks look amazing. There are plenty of good rides that have short lines: Dinosaur, Muppet*Vision, Country Bears. There is something out there that you will enjoy. Explore. 

Q2: That’s it?

Yes, that was it. The ride started, it went and then it stopped and they asked us to get off the ride. Let me ask you a question.

Q2B: What were you expecting?

You can’t answer, so I’ll try to help you. On Space Mountain, this very question was uttered. Space Mountain takes place in the dark and has some fairly great twists and turns with crazy music playing. I feel that anyone searching for some thrills at a Disney Park will be very pleased at Space Mountain. Apparently not. The ride goes for a whopping two minutes and thirty seconds. If you measure that with time with your grandmother, she has every right to ask if “That’s it” Please visit her for at least a few hours, she misses you. Measuring that with time on a roller coaster, is the perfect amount of time. If you spend too much time on fast moving coaster, it will start to not feel good. If that is what you’re looking for, then you came to the wrong place. Next!

Q3: Why did ____ go home early yesterday?

Honestly, I have no idea why _____ went home yesterday, but what I can give you is some advice. What I have been trying to say (poorly) this whole post. You, specifically you, are on vacation. You made it. You are not at work. You are at a park that attempts to entertain people. Now I have lots of anxiety and I over worry about if other people are having a good time. That’s a normal feeling. If they come to you with a concern or problem, then yes try to figure out what is up with them and help. Most of the time though, just do your best to have fun. Maybe all ____ needed that day was to ride Rock n’ Roller Coaster Starring Aerosmith and then go to the hotel and rest. What do you need today? Answer that question before you answer the other one. 

Q4: Why is the fastpass line longer than the regular line?

It’s not. We just have to scan our Magic Bands and that takes time. The regular line has many zigs and zags and we just have a fairly straight shot to the end. It’ll be ok. 

Q5: Are you okay?

Sure, I’m fine. You just hit me in the ankle with your stroller. When I was at good ol’ Walt Disney World I quickly found a hatred for strollers. The kids are not the ones I have a problem with. I understand they get tired and I wouldn’t want to be lugging around 70 pounds of knocked out infant for hours on end. So it is easy to decide to carry your child in the contraption. The despise I felt with these monstrosities was with the parents. They should teach a class on how to drive a stroller because, while I was lucky enough to not get whacked, my wife and friends were not so lucky. Also, it seemed the strollers have a magnetic pull to the most crowded areas. 

Q6: How do they do this? Make it look so good?

I’m not sure random dad. Animal Kingdom does look really nice. Specifically, the Flight of Passage queue. And even more specifically the way the concrete before you enter the ride looks a little worn out. I am guilty of this, but why do people keep knocking on the walls of queues like there not going to be hard. It’s odd, but I’m into it. 

Q7: Why do people keep kissing the Merry Menagerie puppets at Animal Kingdom?

This is a question I asked. Near the entrance of Animal Kingdom there are these absolutely beautiful puppets of different animals. There is a polar bear, a fox, some penguins and many more. The kids that interact with these guys makes sense. They always hug them because the puppetry is amazing on these guys and the look of them is awesome. The are mostly white with hints of blue around them. They are all adorable. I wanted to hug them as well. As I stood watching these creations I found that their adorableness made adults feel the need to kiss them. While I’m all for kissing my wife, I know where those lips have been; sipping coffee and eating Garden Grill. These puppets, while beautiful, are probably collecting dust and bacteria. I was not into kissing them. 

Q8: Which way are you going? Left, right, back, staying still?

Well from my perspective I’m going backwards and from yours I am going right, but none of that matters. I am just trying to avoid this huge stroller while the fireworks crowds heads out for the day. 

Q8B: You guys are stupid!

Not really a question, but thanks. Now, this post is mostly here to tell you not to be too grumpy while on vacation. Certainly don’t call another person stupid while in your grumpiness. If you are cranky with a family member or even a stranger, try to apologize, it will probably help the whole conflict blow over and you can go back to enjoying yourself and each other. 

Do you have any burning questions that Darrell can answer somewhat sarcastically? Let us know in the comments below! Thank you for reading Wandering in Disney! If you enjoy what you’re reading then please subscribe to the blog via WordPress or email and like our social media pages. You can find all of those things on the right side of this page. Have a great day!